The Twenties Are Coming to an End

March 16th, 2011 · 3 Comments »

It is with sadness that I inform you my roaring twenties are coming to an end. In just over a week I will turn 30.

Will I feel the change automatically? Will I go to sleep normal and wake up mature, wanting to talk about mortgages, superannuation and the like? Will I wake up with grey hair (what’s left of it), a beer belly and wrinkles? So many people I know have turned thirty and never been heard of again. They’ve been sucked into the thirtysphere – a vacuum of responsibility and early nights.

I have Neil Young’s Old Man in my head on repeat

I’m actually not at all concerned about turning thirty. To most people, thirty is still young. When I showed up at a workshop I was running last year, the coordinator remarked that I was a lot younger than he expected. He introduced me to the kids as a young author and they responded with scrunched up faces as if to say Are you kidding?! To a kid 30 is sooooooo old. I was already 3 years old when my mum turned 30.

Above: Me, aged 30.

The exciting thing is that 30 is a magical number because it is the number of the circle. 3 is my favourite number, so that’s also a good sign. The rule of 3’s is very important in writing, particularly comedy. So you can see there are lots of exciting things to look forward to in the next decade. I have a good feeling about my thirties.

Of course I know the secret to eternal youth and I’ve known it for a long time now. If you promise not to tell anyone, I’ll share it with you. The secret is … to hang out only with older people because that way you’re always young. It works a charm. Anyway, I’ve got to go, my BF Beryl wants me to drive her to bingo and Ethel needs a ride home from her hip replacement.

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3 Responses to “The Twenties Are Coming to an End”

  • Your Wife

    you’re still young enough to put the garbage and recycling out. so do it. sigh. i can tell this birthday is gonna be full of tears and tantrums. again.

    now for your party, i was thinking perhaps we shouldn’t get the real donkey for the pin the tail game… maybe best to just draw a donkey this year. especially with what happened last year…

    xxx

  • Auntie JAN

    Hilarious!!! All I can say is that I remember your FIRST birthday very well…. you were in Townsville, your older brother was being perfect (as always)and you were being oh so cute…… and perfect too!!
    Me???? Well I was huge and just about to give birth…. c’mon!!! dont tell me you dont remember!!!

  • I certainly remember being cute and perfect, but as for my older brother … are you sure those pregnant hormones didn’t affect your judgment?

    Actually I’m sure all five of us were young and adorable once … but look at us now!! We’re even more adorable!!!

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