The Twenties Are Coming to an End
It is with sadness that I inform you my roaring twenties are coming to an end. In just over a week I will turn 30.
Will I feel the change automatically? Will I go to sleep normal and wake up mature, wanting to talk about mortgages, superannuation and the like? Will I wake up with grey hair (what’s left of it), a beer belly and wrinkles? So many people I know have turned thirty and never been heard of again. They’ve been sucked into the thirtysphere – a vacuum of responsibility and early nights.
I have Neil Young’s Old Man in my head on repeat
I’m actually not at all concerned about turning thirty. To most people, thirty is still young. When I showed up at a workshop I was running last year, the coordinator remarked that I was a lot younger than he expected. He introduced me to the kids as a young author and they responded with scrunched up faces as if to say Are you kidding?! To a kid 30 is sooooooo old. I was already 3 years old when my mum turned 30.
Above: Me, aged 30.
The exciting thing is that 30 is a magical number because it is the number of the circle. 3 is my favourite number, so that’s also a good sign. The rule of 3’s is very important in writing, particularly comedy. So you can see there are lots of exciting things to look forward to in the next decade. I have a good feeling about my thirties.
Of course I know the secret to eternal youth and I’ve known it for a long time now. If you promise not to tell anyone, I’ll share it with you. The secret is … to hang out only with older people because that way you’re always young. It works a charm. Anyway, I’ve got to go, my BF Beryl wants me to drive her to bingo and Ethel needs a ride home from her hip replacement.